


A very very dead man

by Ostodvandi



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Drabble, Gen, M/M, but nothing explicit so it's technically still teen?, does this count as shitposting, kinda nsfwish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 14:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20761604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ostodvandi/pseuds/Ostodvandi
Summary: Sylvain really shouldn't have walked into the training grounds but alas, he did.





	A very very dead man

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to tw @ baoxie_ for letting me write down their amazing and hilarious fanart. Go look at it please their fraldarddyd art is So Good I look at it every damn day.

He gets out of the entrance hall, making a beeline north of the monastery. Ingrid's voice keeps ringing in his ears but thankfully he doesn’t actually hear her this time. 

He avoids going to the cathedral, and turns to the training grounds. He doesn't feel like sparring, especially after missing out on a potential girl to flirt with, and that's exactly why Ingrid won't search for him there.

The door to said training grounds is slightly open, which allows him to sneak in without much of a sound. If Felix were there, he'd probably drag him to sword practice without a second thought.

And speaking of him, he hears rough, familiar panting. He was here in the end? But there are more people than just Felix. Someone else is breathing heavily, and Sylvain frowns.

'Dima…'

_ Ah, fuck. _

_ They aren't sparring. _

He peeks at the center of the training grounds, and there he sees them. They're on the floor, Dimitri's body over Felix's, his hips between Felix's legs, and Dimitri's hands all over him. 

Well. If this isn't a motherfucker of an uncomfortable situation.

Sylvain sticks his back to the wall, holding onto the air in his lungs. If they detect him, he's as good as dead. He is  _ oh so dead _ if he gets caught. He stays in place, not wanting to make any sound at all, just in case they can hear his existence.

'Felix,' he hears Dimitri groan, and for once he agrees with Felix: He sounds like an animal, guttural and all that. Are they really going to do the nasty right in the middle of the training grounds? Of course not, Felix would never—

He hears something being unclasped. 

He has never imagined Felix to be one of  _ those _ people that would fuck in a public space. Or even worse, it might have been Dimitri's idea. Is Dimitri that kind of guy?

Goddess, he doesn’t want to think about this.  _ Why is he thinking about this _ .

He should be focusing on escaping right now. He'd rather have Ingrid scold him than keep listening to… whatever these two are planning on doing.

However, as soon as he moves, his foot kicks a lance that he didn't remember lying around there, making a loud clanking sound that seems to echo through the training grounds. Or even the whole monastery. 

Like an aria for a very, very dead man.

Sylvain turns back to the not so happy couple, staring back at them. Cold sweat runs down the back of his neck when he notices both Dimitri and Felix have reached for their weapons.

Felix grits his teeth first, and then howls.

"SYLVAIN."

And Sylvain offers one last prayer to the Goddess.


End file.
